don't Judge...

ig·no·rant –adjective
1. lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned.

NOT having all the information
2. uninformed; unaware.
don't Judge...
Pray don't find fault with the man who limps or stumbles along the road...

There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt, though hidden away from view, Or the burden he bears...placed on your back, might cause you to stumble too.

Don't sneer at the man who's down today!

You may be strong, but still the blows that were his...if dealt to you, In the selfsame way at the selfsame time might cause you to stagger too.
Don't be too harsh with the man who sins or pelt him with word or stone Unless you are sure...yea doubly surethat you have no sins of your own...For you know...perhaps if the tempters voice should whisper...as softly to you As it did to him...when he went astray could cause you to falter too.
~Author Unknown

We are not put on earth to judge others...

Instead, when we come upon someone who is going through a difficult time, for one reason or other, lend them a helping hand.

Your efforts of kindness will be returned to you two-fold...Remember always...

"It is no secret what God can do"

He said...Jealousy!

How to Handle Jealousy

Many people feel jealous from time to time.Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.
*Understand the emotions.

Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger; a fear of losing something, and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you.
*Allow yourself to actually 'feel' the emotion in a healthy way.

When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself:

is it more fear based, or more anger based?

*Recognize which part of your body is being affected.

If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear.

If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger.

You might also feel a combination of those sensations.
*Communicate your feelings.

Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship.

Use "I" instead of "You".

Instead of saying, "you shouldn't have done that", say, "I felt terrible when you did that."
*Identify what your jealousy is teaching you.

Jealousy can alert you to what you want, and what is important to you.

If you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you.

If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom.

Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.
*Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy.

There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, many times, you can eliminate the jealousy.

Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money.” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.”

Beliefs are

C h A n G e A b L e

If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy and the fear will disappear.

Dont listen to people who make you jealous.
Jealousy is not the same thing as love.

Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them.

Jealousy is not love, it’s the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly loving yourself and others for whatever experience you’re having.

Learn to be happy with yourself and what you have.

Everyone is different and each person has their good and bad qualities.

Realize that you have the potential to create a better future.
Try to talk about your problems with someone.

Irrational jealousy usually stems from your own insecurities and low self-esteem.
Address these issues first.
Be happy for the other person. Jealousy can represent that "I like that, it would be nice to have that thing or experience". When you can be happy for another person's success and happiness, you are allowing positive feelings to flow into your life. Instead of being angry, congratulate the other person.
Warnings

If jealousy in your relationship is leading to control or power struggles, it's a sign that there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

********************************************************************************
I said...Why Jealousy? ...he said

"Because it is something EVERYONE has/will/are experience(ing)."

Never ARGUE with a WOman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.
What are you doing?''Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.
I'm reading''Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading''Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.''If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.''Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also THINK!

Thanks Bobbie Jo...love you

ASS umptions

What is jumping to negative assumptions?

When I jump to negative assumptions, I:
~reach the negative, pessimistic judgment that things are not going to go my way and act accordingly.
~am reacting to unresolved anger that gives power to people against whom I harbor anger.
~am acting out of anger, resentment, hatred, and animosity.
~neglect to find out if things have changed from similar situations in the past.
~snap to a decision without having all the facts at hand.
~ignore any positive input I may be receiving.
~may be reacting to a situation based on a negative belief system.
~generalize from past experiences that my future will be no different than my past.
~become pessimistic about my life because things don't look any different to me now than they did before.
~lock people into a certain behavior pattern, or a "script.''
~don't allow for the possibility of change.
~have a belief about the way things are going to be and I don't allow for any deviation from this belief.
~close off the possibility for healthy change because I fail to see the reality of changes in life being presented to me.
~am being unfair to myself and to others.
How can I characterize my jumping to assumptions?
Ignoring the ``yes'' messages in my life.

Being used to receiving "no,'' I make the assumption that things will remain the same. When people give me a "yes,'' which is permission to act in a healthy way, I ignore them, assuming the worst, and continue to react as if I had been given a "no.''
Having a chip on my shoulder.

Because I assume that things will always go wrong people perceive me as sullen, angry, negative, and easily agitated.
Giving power to others.

By assuming the worst about people, places, things, or events I allow them to upset, bother, or agitate me. This means I give them power over me, negative power.
Prejudiced or bigoted behavior. By assuming that a person or group of people will always act the same way, I react to them in a negative way. This puts an emotional and/or physical distance between us, leaving no chance for healing.
Acting in a stereotypic way.

By making assumptions about how something or someone is always going to be, I act in a ``predetermined'' way regarding the particular issue(s). This allows little flexibility and spontaneity in my life.
Thinking and/or acting irrationally.

Most of the assumptions I reach are based on irrational thinking. The possibility of change is not considered.
Fulfillment of the prophecy.

By assuming that the worst is going to happen, I subconsciously set things up so that they do happen and in just the negative way I predicted.
Being close-minded.

If I assumed that there is only one way things will always be, then my mind is closed to other possibilities. This results in my becoming closed or resistant to change, even to changes for the better. I simply refuse to believe they are true.
Living with blinders on.

Reaching the assumption that there is only one way things are going to be, I become unable to look forward. I refuse to see the possibility of things being different. I become narrow in my focus.
Being rigid and inflexible.

By assuming that things can't change, my behavior gets stuck on one track. I'm on a one-way street to nowhere, in a deep rut. I find it impossible to be spontaneous or flexible.
Being insensitive and uncaring.

By assuming that I will be treated negatively by everyone with whom I come in contact, I throw emotional barriers up so high that no one can see my feelings. This results in my appearing cold and aloof.

SELF SABOTAGING BEHAVIOR

Assuming that only the worst will happen to me, I do or say things that hamper my growth or success. Failure and loss are the result

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Government?

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark."OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints,"I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard,weeping,and there was no ark."Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is my ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah."Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems.

First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system.""My neighbors objected, claiming that I

was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.""Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.""Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.""Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.""Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!""Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire.""The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years.

"With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky.Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully."No," said the Lord, "The government already is doing a fine job."

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IsSuEs...

ISSUES....

you wanna talk about issues...she is growing..so..FAST...

Lastnight...was her first night AWAY from me...
CrAzY...huh...I know...

she went to her

CRIB

(she has been in the bassinett next to mybed)

I kept sneaking in her room to check on her...
"she is ok baby, your gonna wake her... "

Around 5am...

I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO GO GET HER FOR MY

OWN

security...of course...(so I got Issues!!)

her Daddy...says....she is like me...snores and loves to

HOG

the bed...

we laugh...when we watch her sleep....

Zion has ADDED so MUCH
JOY to OUR Lives...

She is ALWAYS CHEES*N

don't wake her up though...she has a fierce temper...

ok maybe she is lightweight SpOiLeD!

but hey ain't that OUR JOB!
~I am so thankful for my Family...

Don't Give UP!

Nicolo' Paganini was a well known and gifted nineteenth-century violinist.

His most memorable concert, however, was one marked by a

difficult test rather than easy success.

The concert was performed with a full orchestra before a packed house in Italy.

Those who heard him play say that Paganini's technique was incredible and his tone fantastic.

Toward the end of the concert, Paganini was astounding his rapt audience with an intriciate composition when one string on his violin sudenly snapped and hung limply from his instrument.

Paganini frowned only briefly, shook his head, and continued to play, improvising beautifully.

Then to everyone's surprise, including Paganini's a second string broke. Shortly there-after, a third string snapped. It seemed like a slapstick comedy routine as Paganini stood before the awed crowd with strings dangling from his Stradivarius violin. Instead of leaving the stage to repair his instrument.

HE STOOD FIRM!

He calmly completed the difficult number on the one remaining string-a performance that

WON him

APPLAUSE

ADMIRATION

&

EDURING FAME...

YOUR BEST WORK MAY BE PERFORMED UNDER TOUGH & UNuSuAl

CIRCUMSTANCES...

SO DON"T GIVE UP>

JUST KEEP PLAYING~!!!

To follow, without halt, ONE aim:

there's the SECRET of SUCCESS..

~T.D. Jakes/2008 Devotion

Attract a GOOD man(rewarding)...not just any man..EZ

Some women just can’t break the pattern of dating loser guys. Try as they may to meet Mr. Right, they continue to get stuck with the liars, cheaters, and unemployed gold diggers. But this is not necessarily a reflection of the women’s morals, but rather an indicator that their approach to dating is slightly flawed. Here are some tips for attracting men your mother would be proud of.
Look in the Right Places

Think about the places you socialize and meet your men. Are they the same spots you would bring your family if they were visiting you from out of town? We’ve all heard that bars are the worst place to meet new partners, and the reason is that you set a standard about yourself before the relationship begins. Try changing your social patterns. There are plenty of alternative places to connect with men. Some examples include church, coffee houses, fitness centers, and volunteer functions.
Ask the Right Questions

You can save yourself a lot of trouble by learning more about your man before things progress too far. Of course you don’t want to scare away a new flame on the first date, but it is entirely acceptable to be curious if you plan on seeing him again. Some of things you’ll want to know are where they work, how long they have lived in your city, and what their interests are outside of work or school. Try to get a good picture of how they spend there time and why they might be interested in a person such as yourself. This should be easy to do if they have nothing to hide.

donotbeafraidtobe

YOU
Learn to Say No

No one will ever tell you that it is easy to be single. We all want someone to share our thoughts and dreams with. Unfortunately, too many of us sacrifice our own values to avoid the pains of loneliness. If you start to have questions or concerns about your man, then you need to have the ability to tell him no. You can try to work with him on small issues, but the least amount of resistance should serve as a red flag. Remember, you are looking for a good man who will treat YOU right.

This means finding someone who will

RESPECT YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Get Out What You Put In

Always remember that the manner you present yourself will likely determine the type of guy who is attracted to you. If you are always at a bar, then you will probably meet someone who drinks regularly. On the other hand, if you maintain a positive approach to the world and stay active in trustworthy communities, then you will probably meet someone with strong values and a healthy lifestyle. The bottom line is you can only expect to get out of a relationship what you put into it.

Think about the things that are important to YOU and YOUR FUTURE..

Just some Standards I learned along the way.

DATE...what's that? (movie, Dinner, walk in the park, party...)

Has a source of income.

WORKS HARD to be SUCCESSFUL

ABLE TO GROW...LEARN AND CAN READ...YES I SAID READ...lol

Drivers Liscense is IMPORTANT..

Independent not CODEPENDENT...

Has OWN $$$...don't look for someone to take care of you...WHY...This is 2008!

Find someone that will

COMPLIMENT YOU...

Not complicate You...or complete You

there is NO SUCH THING...

YOUR ALREADY COMPLETE...

Beautiful, Intelligent, Independent... Family, Sis & Bubby, Friends......

Warning SignsYou're Dating a Loser

"The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to "The Loser" is how quickly he or she says "I Love You" or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You'll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the "honeymoon phase" - where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you...

(full text)

The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of "The Loser" and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically. If your partner possesses even one of these features, there is risk in the relationship. More than three of these indicators and you are involved with "The Loser" in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you. When a high number of these features are present - it's not a probably or possibility. You will be hurt and damaged by "The Loser" if you stay in the relationship.

Quick Attachment and Expression

"The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to "The Loser" is how quickly he or she says "I Love You" or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You'll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the "honeymoon phase" - where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember the business saying "If it's too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!" You may be so overwhelmed by this display of instant attraction, instant commitment, and instant planning for the future that you'll miss the major point - it doesn't make sense!! Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment - not three weeks. It's true that we can become infatuated with others quickly - but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause "The Loser" to detach from you as quickly as they committed. "The Loser" typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship. Frightening Temper

"The Loser" has a scary temper. If your boyfriend or girlfriend blows up and does dangerous things, like driving too fast because they're mad, breaking/throwing things, getting into fights, or threatening others - that temper will soon be turned in your direction. In the beginning of the relationship, you will be exposed to "witnessed violence" - fights with others, threats toward others, angry outbursts at others, etc. You will also hear of violence in their life. You will see and witness this temper - throwing things, yelling, cursing, driving fast, hitting the walls, and kicking things. That quickly serves to intimidate you and fear their potential for violence, although "The Loser" quickly assures you that they are angry at others or situations, not at you. At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you - but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability - and that it might come your way. Later, you fear challenging or confronting them - fearing that same temper and violence will be turned in your direction.

(been there done that...NEVER again...)

The Mean and Sweet Cycle

(this one sweety...means.... needs some medication, cause there are some mental health issues...read it carefully...)

"The Loser" cycles from mean to sweet and back again. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow "The Loser" to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. "The Loser" often apologizes but the damage to your self-esteem is already done - exactly as planned.

For those who are reading this article...

You have the information...

Only YOU can CHOOSE Better for YOURSELF...

Cause babygirl...

You DESERVE only the BEST...

Nothing Less...

Random Acts of Kindness

Needing a Ride
On a cold winter morning (about 17 F) a couple of years ago I saw a car parked side of the road with a young man inside. I stopped and he came up to the car. I asked if he broke down and if I could help. He said that he had taken his wife to work and the car had stopped on the way back. He said he didn't live far and would appreciate a ride. And by the way would I mind if he got his (and I thought he said dogs). I said no problem I will clear off the back seat. I was very surprised when he returned with his two year old and a six month old daughters. Being able to do this made my week. I have been in trouble more than once side of the road far from home and others have been willing to help me. It gives me great pleasure to be able to return this kindness.~jk

My Angel
One day I was waiting at the bus stop when it began to pour down raining. A lady gave me her umbrella. It was a very nice umbrella so I told her " no thank you" at first. She insisted that I take it because she had another one in her car. I felt like that she was an angel sent to me by God. There is a lot of bad in the world, but there is a lot of good too!! ~mh

Sandwiches
I work in a downtown area and have seen homeless men going through the garbage cans in the mornings looking for food. I work Saturday mornings, so I have started making tightly wrapped, fresh sandwiches and placing them on the top of the garbage cans so they don't have to dig for food. (that one is really sweet....)~hy

BE NICE!