Dec 26, 2008

There would be nothing to frighten you
if you refused to be afraid.
~Gandhi

Take chances. When rowing forward, the boat may rock. ~Chinese Proverb

The important thing is not to stop questioning. ~Albert Einstein

Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means. ~Leo Buscaglia

I wish I could make a happier world
-harmonious, friendly and peaceful.
~His Holiness the Dali Lama - from the book "Tying Rocks to Clouds"

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all...that is genius...
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the luster of the firmament of bards and sages.
Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty." -~
~Ralph Waldo Emerson from web visitor Ciera454 Thanks...

Within you is the divine capacity to manifest
and attract all that you need or desire.
~Wayne Dyer "The Secrets to Manifesting your Destiny"

Dec 23, 2008

Balancing Motherhood and Self

Women have been getting mixed messages about the shoulds and shouldn'ts of motherhood. What this has succeeded in doing is…
Putting undue pressure on women to work or not to work or be supermoms.
Making moms feel guilty about being stay-at-home moms or feel guilty for being working moms.
Causing self-conscious embarrassment if they aren't pursuing a career outside the home and self-doubt for pursing a lifetime career outside the home.
Get the message? You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. And that is precisely how a large number of younger moms feel.
We all know the history lesson here. Before the 1960s, Mom stayed home.

The working woman was the deviant.

Now that anything goes, the natural conflict of mothers' needs and children's needs should be addressed.

Only then can the weight of stress and guilt building on motherhood's "shoulds and shouldn'ts" be thrown off.
Finding a Balance:
The Conflict of Motherhood and Self
Scientific findings of researchers may shed new light on the topic.
Key among these findings are…
The happiest women are the busiest women.
Those moms who are the most harried do not have a negative feeling about motherhood.
The choice to stay at home can mean a loss of self, believes Sally Placksin, author of Mothering the New Mother (Newmarket Press, 1994).
In order to avoid that loss, women have created networks, support groups, and publications to reassure them that it is okay to stay home.
Children in households with working mothers did not have more problems than in households with stay-at-home moms.
More important to a child's overall sense of happiness is whether or not her mother is happy and satisfied with her lifestyle, whether this meant she stayed at home or worked.

Dec 20, 2008

Strategies....Everyone needs a Plan....



Parenting Strategies:
• Channel energy into appropriate and fun activities.
• Childproof the house from child's point of view.
• Set clear, consistent limits.
• Provide nutritious snacks for refueling. Don't expect child to sit for too long at mealtime.
• Provide rest periods during the day, even if he/she doesn't sleep.
• Make sure child gets enough sleep at night.
• Don't rough house at bedtime. Use calming routines to settle down (reading stories).
• Place in groups with slightly older (or active) children.
If also intense:
• Notice "signals" of escalating intensity.
• Use soothing activities (swinging, rocking) or distractions to reduce intensity.
• Provide place for child to "cool down" to let off steam.
• Teach what is allowed in expressing intensity - teach "words" to use.
• Keep your voice and manner calm.

Dec 19, 2008

Parenting Your Unique Child


The high-energy child
What does a high-energy child look like?
Children who are high energy may be highly active or very intense in their reactions
(or both active and intense).
The highly active child always seems to be on the move.


He runs more often than walks, and doesn't like to stop to eat, rest, or get his diaper changed.
If your child has a high activity level you may find this a challenge unless you also have a high activity level.
The high intensity child reacts strongly to things, sometimes bouncing with excitement and sometimes having temper tantrums.
This dramatic toddler lets you know how she feels!
If both you and your child are high in intensity, this may make it more challenging for you to "keep your cool" while handling your child's strong reactions
(especially negative reactions).
While parenting the high-energy child can be a challenge, high-energy children who are also fast adapting (adapt quickly to changes and new things) usually adjust fairly easily to the limits that parents set.
Parenting Your Unique Child
The high-energy child
What does a high-energy child look like? Children who are high energy may be highly active or very intense in their reactions (or both active and intense).
The highly active child always seems to be on the move. He runs more often than walks, and doesn't like to stop to eat, rest, or get his diaper changed. If your child has a high activity level you may find this a challenge unless you also have a high activity level.
The high intensity child reacts strongly to things, sometimes bouncing with excitement and sometimes having temper tantrums. This dramatic toddler lets you know how she feels! If both you and your child are high in intensity, this may make it more challenging for you to "keep your cool" while handling your child's strong reactions (especially negative reactions).
While parenting the high-energy child can be a challenge, high-energy children who are also fast adapting (adapt quickly to changes and new things) usually adjust fairly easily to the limits that parents set.
What is the difference between being high-energy and hyperactive or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)?
High activity level and/or high intensity are normal temperament differences.
Hyperactivity or ADHD are medical, diagnostic labels for a certain pattern of child behaviors, which includes being highly active, and also an inability to stay focused on an activity.
Most diagnoses of hyperactivity or ADHD occur after children start school, where a high energy level doesn't "fit" as well.
Understanding temperament helps parents learn to manage their child's high energy at an earlier age, and helps children learn how to handle appropriately their own energy.
up next...parenting strategies

Dec 17, 2008

XAVIOR...HIGH ENERGY....tips dealing with high energy 'little people"..

Here are six ways you can help a hyperactive child:
*Channel the energy.
A child with endless amounts of energy, who is bounding up and down the stairs and getting into trouble, is crying out for something to do. Try enrolling your child in a team sport, dance class, or some parents rave about the benefits of martial arts. Martial art classes teach control, discipline, and self-esteem
. While at home, get creative and give your child a task. "Katie, can you water the back lawn for me?" So what if she gets rambunctious doing it? She's accomplishing something useful.....i use this one all the time with Xavior...Redirection...and helping me...sometimes it don't work...but it is a useful tool.
*Establish distinct indoor/outdoor rules.
Sit down as a family and discuss what behavior is acceptable in the house and what behavior isn't. Break it down in very clear terms. On a cardboard sheet, make two columns: Indoors and Outdoors. Have the kids help list behaviors that fall under each heading. Yelling=Outdoors. Running=Outdoors. Reading=Indoors, etc. If a child uses outdoor behavior inside the house, he has to go outside for a half hour. If darkness prevents this, he has to go to the "chill-out" chair.
*"Push the wall."
Yul Brenner had a specific technique he would use to combat jitters, anxiety, and restlessness. He would stand facing the wall with one knee bent and the other leg extended behind him (in a straddle position), and "push" the wall with all his might. After five seconds of simultaneously stretching and tensing his muscles as he pushed in this way, the automatic result when he was finished was to feel more relaxed and calm. You can test this technique and teach your child to use it when he feels out of control. i'm ganna try that!
*Deep Breathing.
Teach your child to take three looooong deep breaths through the nose, slowly filling the lungs like balloons. Then just as slowly, let the air escape through the mouth making "wind" sounds. Deep breathing helps harmonize our nervous systems by turning on our parasympathetic nervous system--our "relaxation response." It feeds oxygen to the brain, having a natural calming effect.
*Chill-Out Chair. (i like the thought of this one!)
It works wonders for discipline, and you can also use it when a child is obviously losing a sense of control. Send him to the "chill-out" chair for five minutes, with something interesting to read. If he acts up, the reading material is taken away, and five minutes is added to the time. Continue adding five minutes if he refuses to remain quiet. You could start "chill-out time" with deep breathing, using the technique in number four above. This will start the child off a bit more relaxed. If the child sits quietly for his allotted time, he can leave. There are numerous ways to use this method, but just be sure you have your own consistent rules in place to make it work.
*Family Exercise.
The more you employ family exercise in your children's lives, the better. They will be more able to manage stress, they'll be healthier, they'll avoid obesity, and they'll strengthen their family relationships. (And you will, too!) Exercise is a great way to use up nervous energy. Get out as a family and ride bikes, play ball, roller-skate, or whatever activities you enjoy most. WHAT YOU MEAN I GOTTA DO SOMETHING?


Dec 16, 2008

TODAY

is the BIGGEST day of MY life...
Yesterday is Gone....Never to be seen again...bye,bye
Tomorrow NEVER arrives....
TODAy is the BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

Dec 9, 2008

Quote of the day..


"Whatever you give a woman,
she will make greater.
If you give her sperm,
she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house,
she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries,
she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile,
she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."
~Bobbie Jo Husted

Dec 8, 2008

In Praise of God

You are holy, Lord, the only God,and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,Lord God, living and true.
You are love.
You are wisdom.
You are humility.
You are endurance.
You are rest.
You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage.
You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Dec 1, 2008

The Power of Love

"There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few hundred years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish."
-- Alfred Adler

Hate is not conquered by hate: hate is conquered by love. This is a law eternal.
-- Buddha
Love -- giving and receiving from the heart -- involves ... peace ...
-- Richard Carlson


When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then there will be true peace
-- Sri Chin Moi Gosh

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